A tale of 4 Dads, plus some
I until recently I had 4 Dads. Sounds a bit strange but bear with me.
When I was concieved I immediately acquired a Dad. He gave me life. Some people say I even have his disposition. Some people even are very confused after meeting me because I remind them of him but they are not aware he had kids. My mom was very young, he wasnt much older. They dated casually, never even lived together. I love this Dad. We have an odd relationship. There is connection there but its is fragile. You see we have not spent much time together. Everytime we do I am gratefull, it is comfortable but leaves me just a bit sad for all the things I missed. He really is a great guy.
You see, by the time I was 2 I had a new Dad. My biological father stepped back. I didnt have every other weekend visits, or fights about money or visitation between my parents. I watch my kids go through that now, and it pains me, though I understand on some cerebral level. So I grew up knowing a father figure. He loved me without a doubt. He often told me he fell in love with me first and my Mom later. I have a very stable memory of family. For that gift I am gratefull to both theses men.
The Dad I grew up died last thanksgiving. So I am down to 3. 3? yes... bear with me, I will get there. His passing has caused a great deal of turmoil, both internal and familial. I am always surprised at the triggers that make me cry now. A song, "Life in the fast lane" by The Eagles, a childs laugh, a stretch of road. I am going in a few weeks to visit a friend in a town I lived in many years ago. I am excited, but also a little aprehensive because of the memories there.
I aquired my third Dad through marriage. My Mom married a wonderfull man. He has become not only my Dad also my friend. Zig and I love to go camping with them. It is less like family and more like meeting up with old friends. He adores my Mom. And I adore him.
My fourth Dad is also acquired by marriage. This would be my father in law. "Ziggys Daddy" as he sometimes comments on Zigs blog. I am fortunate to have married so well. I love Zig AND I have great in laws. We like to hang out and party with them too. He is a smart man, with infinite real life wisdom and an equally twisted sense of humor. I am very gratefull.
So to all my Dads:
Thank you for all your gifts. I love the person I am today. You all have had a
hand in the recipe of Me. I look forward to growing old with you all in my life for many years to come.
To my husband: thank you for aquiring The Princess and being her Dad. I know as the years pass she will think of you more fondly. As a woman, finding a man that loves your child as much as you is one of the most difficult task ever. I am very lucky to be loved by such a generous man.
To The Princess's Dad: I am sorry for all your pain right now. I wish your Dad and family the health and peace. Thank you for giving me the gift of her and for continuing to be a part of her life.
When I was concieved I immediately acquired a Dad. He gave me life. Some people say I even have his disposition. Some people even are very confused after meeting me because I remind them of him but they are not aware he had kids. My mom was very young, he wasnt much older. They dated casually, never even lived together. I love this Dad. We have an odd relationship. There is connection there but its is fragile. You see we have not spent much time together. Everytime we do I am gratefull, it is comfortable but leaves me just a bit sad for all the things I missed. He really is a great guy.
You see, by the time I was 2 I had a new Dad. My biological father stepped back. I didnt have every other weekend visits, or fights about money or visitation between my parents. I watch my kids go through that now, and it pains me, though I understand on some cerebral level. So I grew up knowing a father figure. He loved me without a doubt. He often told me he fell in love with me first and my Mom later. I have a very stable memory of family. For that gift I am gratefull to both theses men.
The Dad I grew up died last thanksgiving. So I am down to 3. 3? yes... bear with me, I will get there. His passing has caused a great deal of turmoil, both internal and familial. I am always surprised at the triggers that make me cry now. A song, "Life in the fast lane" by The Eagles, a childs laugh, a stretch of road. I am going in a few weeks to visit a friend in a town I lived in many years ago. I am excited, but also a little aprehensive because of the memories there.
I aquired my third Dad through marriage. My Mom married a wonderfull man. He has become not only my Dad also my friend. Zig and I love to go camping with them. It is less like family and more like meeting up with old friends. He adores my Mom. And I adore him.
My fourth Dad is also acquired by marriage. This would be my father in law. "Ziggys Daddy" as he sometimes comments on Zigs blog. I am fortunate to have married so well. I love Zig AND I have great in laws. We like to hang out and party with them too. He is a smart man, with infinite real life wisdom and an equally twisted sense of humor. I am very gratefull.
So to all my Dads:
Thank you for all your gifts. I love the person I am today. You all have had a
hand in the recipe of Me. I look forward to growing old with you all in my life for many years to come.
To my husband: thank you for aquiring The Princess and being her Dad. I know as the years pass she will think of you more fondly. As a woman, finding a man that loves your child as much as you is one of the most difficult task ever. I am very lucky to be loved by such a generous man.
To The Princess's Dad: I am sorry for all your pain right now. I wish your Dad and family the health and peace. Thank you for giving me the gift of her and for continuing to be a part of her life.
posted by Mrs.ZigZagMan | 9:47 AM
6 Comments:
Very sweet tribute to the men in your life. On my blog, I talk about how DNA alone does not make a Dad. Your story proves that. I also think it's very sweet of you to include the Princess' Dad on this day. It shows what a loving person you really are.
Rock on, Mrs. Z
Mrs Zig, I'm so pleased that you have such a balanced and well adjusted approach to having so many men in your life.
A very touching and sweet post. :)
Mrs. Z, you completely rock. I know what you mean about the triggers. My grammy pretty much was the only mom I had (as mom sucks ass) and you never know if its a smell, the sight of someone who looks like her, a memory triggered by a word or a song. It will be three years on july six and im more used to it, but sometimes the pain cuts so hard i cant breathe.
I dont know why I shared that. Probably because you rock and I knew youd get why.
Ziggette, this post was so sweet. I hope all the men in your life now, and past knew how wonderful you are as well.
Aww. I'm so happy for you to have had and still have such a group of wonderful men in your life. I hope they all know that they have such a kick ass woman in theirs. I know Mr Zig knows this. This was so real, sweet and touching; a perfect Father's Day post.
Loved the post, my dear. It was a tough Father's Day for me as both my father AND father-in-law have been gone for 3 years.
However, I did get part of what I wanted for MY Father's Day. I actually managed a nice, long nap! It was about 3 hours long, and really recharged the batteries.
Lou (Compudoc)
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